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December Decisions with Barry Blue

December 1, 2017

 

 

 How many good-looking titmice do you know are scientists specializing in the field of decision theory?  Why, Barry Blue could be a model, an actor or a soap opera heart-throb.  But no, his brain is full of possibilities and practicalities.  So it is with great pleasure to  to interview a  serious bird at the last month of this year to see how he feels about life and his take on making good choices.

 

Louise:  Before I met you in the parking lot of the Stop 'N Shop, I never heard of decision theory.  You were standing in a handicap space staring at the store when all of a sudden, a car without a handicap parking sign swooped in and almost flattened you.

 

Barry Blue:  I guess that wasn't one of my better decisions.  I had made an observation that most handicap spaces remain empty and therefore, it would probably be a safe place to stand to consider which route to find entrance into the store.  Should I go in through a small open portal in the roof or fly in when a patron walked through the automatic doors?   I was counting the timing mechanism when that blasted miscreant almost knocked me down.  Thank you for coming to my aid.  I was quite shaken up and you were very helpful in calming me down.

 

L:    Glad to help.  And, the incident gave me a chance to chat with you.  I was intrigued about your field of study when you explained to me what you were doing.  Also, I thought you were a very handsome bird.

 

BB:   Thank you.  But, you know, I'm much more interested in how beings act rather than what they look like.  

 

L:   You explained to me that you take great consideration before making any decision (including  the bad one of standing in a parking space, handicap or not) and that you were a specialist in the field of decision theory,  Doesn't that get exhausting?  Yes its a good thing to think before you act, but don't you carry that a bit too far?

 

BB:  No.  That's just my nature.  Or is it?  I think it is.  I'm sticking with no.

 

L:  Why were you contemplating about going into a store anyway?

 

BB:  Well, to shop, of course.

 

L:  But why can't you just peck about among trees and soil for tasty grubs and berries and seeds?

 

BB:  My mother always shopped in supermarkets.  But that's something to consider.  I'll have to give it some thought.  I would imagine it would be much easier, less dangerous and much less expensive, though I've never paid for anything in a supermarket before..

 

L:  Isn't that just stealing?    Is that not like the driver of the vehicle that unlawfully parked in the handicap spot?

 

BB:  But, I'm a bird.  We don't have pockets with which to carry money or credit cards.  Anyway, if I had a credit card, which one would I use?  There are so many to choose from.  I like the airline points I could get from Capital One, but I already fly as I am a bird.  Maybe a Discover Card?  I like that they are orange and silver and blue, my favorite colors.   And there are so many more to consider.

 

L:   You seem to easily go off into tangents.  

 

BB:  Do I?  Well tangents are just another way of considering all the odds and facets of decision making.  I talk about it in my new book "Decision Theory for the Bird Brain".

 

L:  Sounds like a best seller.

 

BB:  You think so?  Oh, I hope so.  Maybe this interview will help make sales of the book even better.  Then again, maybe they won't.  I can't decide.

 

L:  Okay, well, it was fun.  Maybe I'll see you again.  I've gotta go.  Don't stand in any parking spaces in the future.

 

BB:  I'll be more circumspect.  And thanks for your interest in me and my work.

 

I got away as soon as was polite.  To tell the truth, Barry Blue wasn't as fascinating as I first expected.  I guess I was just blinded by his beauty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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